To be young, to serve truth…

Reading a novel is one of my favorite things to do, and I’ve been able to enjoy some reading during my Spring Break. I’ve been reading The Brothers Karamazov for a few months (actually since the summer, but who’s counting?). I finally finished it. What a great book! There are some passages in that book that really moved me. It took a long time to read, but it was definitely worth it. Check it out from your local library if you want a good read.
I read this passage back in the summer, and it has stuck with me. Take a second to read it carefully, then I’ll explain why I find it significant.

…he was to a certain extent a young man of our own times, that is, honest by nature, demanding truth, seeking it, believing in it, demanding to serve it with all the strength of his soul, yearning for an immediate act of heroism and wishing to sacrifice everything, even life itself, for that act of heroism. Though, unhappily, these youths do not understand that the sacrifice of one’s life is in most cases perhaps the easiest of all sacrifices, and that to sacrifice, for instance, five or six years of their life, full of youthful fervor, to hard and difficult study, if only to increase tenfold their powers of serving truth so as to be able to carry out the great work they have set their hearts on carrying out - that such a sacrifice is very often almost beyond the strength of many of them.

The passage is the narrator describing a character named Alyosha, the hero of the story. Immediately when I read the passage I thought to myself, “That’s me! Or at least I want it to be.” I desperately wish to serve truth “with all the strength” of my soul. Sometimes when you’re memorizing the functions of Micro-tubules, or the structures of the 20 amino acids, it is difficult to feel like you are serving truth. In fact, at many times it feels pointless. I take comfort in this passage. Perhaps it is naive, but I truly believe I am sacrificing a few years of my life “to hard and difficult study” in order to better serve God later.

This is not to say that I cannot serve him now. This is not to say that I cannot serve truth now. But I need to recognize that God may be using this time in my life to prepare me for more difficult service at a later time.

Maybe God has you in a difficult place right now. Maybe you are frustrated with what you are doing. Maybe it seems pointless. Maybe you’re right. Or maybe, God has some big plans for you. Think about it.

Popularity: 21% [?]

A Prayer

Lord grant me patience. Make me slow to anger and frustration. Make me bold but not rude.
Lord grant me wisdom. Let me look to you for guidance. Take away my ideas of the future and replace them with yours.
Lord make me humble. Show me how absurd my pride is. Let my confidence lie only in you and not in my weak, petty, selfish, pitiful, needy, un-compassionate, and tiny self.
Lord give me passion for things that matter and make me indifferent to things that don’t.
Lord let me be more aware of your work in the world. Let me see what you’re doing and praise you for it.
Lord, comfort me when I suffer. Teach me through it and make me more compassionate because of it.
Lord, take away my bitterness and cynicism. Soften my heart. Forgive me for this as well. Too often I find myself calling out among the scoffers.

All honor and glory to you Lord, Amen.

Popularity: 18% [?]