My faith journey

I was listening to a little old school Audio Adrenaline today (Underdog? Big House? - Classic.) and well, you know how music has that wonderful ability to bring back memories? Audio A got me a little nostalgic thinking back to around middle school. Specifically it reminded me about my faith at that time, and I started to examine how my ideas about the Christian faith have changed since then. So I thought I’d share just a few thoughts about my journey.

Life and the Christian faith was much simpler back then. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but that’s what it was. I was just stepping into an understanding of Christianity that I’d never had before as I started to grasp what having a relationship with God actually meant. I was attending a new church that talked about God in new ways and I started to be more committed about reading my Bible and attending youth group. It was a great time.

But oh how things change. I’m starting to wonder if there’s this curve with the faith journey. I thought that I would learn more and that the number of questions I had about faith would lessen as I gained more knowledge. But the opposite has happened. Questions either got more complicated or lead to more questions. Will there be a point in the future where the questions about faith will start to lessen? Maybe around 40? Will I start to figure things out eventually? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Is the Bible infallible?

Actually I’m very happy with where I’m at in faith right now, and although I have more questions than I had when I was in middle school, I feel that my faith is much more mature. I’ll give you a small example. Is the Bible infallible? Back then I would have probably said yes. Now I have to ask the question, what does the word infallible mean? I remember reading discussions about contradictions in the Bible. Many people have put a lot of effort into resolving details in the Bible that don’t seem to match up. For example, Judas’ death is described differently by Matthew in his gospel than by Luke in Acts. Can we allow for human error to come into the Bible? Is it possible that the writers are telling two stories that can’t be reconciled?

An Analogy

I submit that we can. I think we can even still say that the Bible is infallible, depending on your definition. Judas died, that much is clear. Is it reasonable to spend hours trying to reconcile two very short passages that describe the details differently? I don’t think so. It’s like two witnesses to a murder. They both identify the same murderer, but one says he wore a black shirt, and the other a blue. Is one lying? Should we discount both testimonies because they don’t agree on the details? Of course not. They identify the same murderer, and that is what’s most important.

So I’ve gone off on a little tangent. That’s just one small example of how my faith has changed. I still have tons of questions. But I love asking questions, I love exploring new viewpoints. I think a critical mind is a gift from God, and it’s the last thing we should put aside when examining our faith. How can looking at a Bible verse in a new way inhibit our faith? Depth comes from digging.

So while I’ve changed a ton since middle school, one thing hasn’t: I still think Audio Adrenaline rocks.

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Have you lost faith?

I read Digg a lot, and for a community with a large percentage of atheists and agnostics, there are a surprising number of popular submissions about religion. Many of the articles concerning religion are fairly negative, and you can really feel the hostility towards religion when you read the comments. I actually plan on writing a response to this animosity towards faith on Digg, but that’s not for today.

The article I found today is very relevant to the blog here. It’s called ”Religion beat became a test of faith”
The author is a writer for the LA Times and the article describes his faith journey.

I recommend reading it, but here is a short synopsis- the author describes a sincere acceptance of Christ in his late 20’s and then outlines the tests his faith endured as the religion beat writer for the Times. His jobs exposes him to the darkest sides of Christianity, he starts to realize he cannot reconcile his questions about faith, and he eventually comes to realize that he can no longer believe in God. It is a heartfelt article, more of a memoir than anything else. As a Christian it is difficult to read, especially as the author describes the extreme hypocrisy within the church.

He reported much about the Catholic church sex scandal, and that seemed to affect him deeply. He also wrote about the TV network TBN, and how it’s leaders and pastors lived in appalling luxury, taking money from people with the promise that God will bless them for their generosity.
He concludes with this,

“My soul, for lack of a better term, had lost faith long ago — probably around the time I stopped going to church. My brain, which had been in denial, had finally caught up.

Clearly, I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded, requires at some point a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don’t. It’s not a choice. It can’t be willed into existence. And there’s no faking it if you’re honest about the state of your soul.”

In a sense I agree with him, belief does require a leap of faith. Faith is pretty much defined that way. But I struggle with his statement that “you either have the gift of faith or you don’t.” I cannot believe that to be true. I think everyone has the capacity for faith. Why do some believe and some not? I have ideas, but really I don’t know at all.

My own fear

The article struck me most of all because I could relate to the author. I have some of the same questions about faith, and one of my greatest fears is that my faith will fade. However, while I can see and lament the problems within the church, I also can see a lot of Christians doing things right. At school, I know many amazing people that are yearning to serve God the best way possible. We should never ignore our hypocrisy, but we should also shouldn’t forget when we do things right.

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Faith and Doubt

Welcome to faithdoubt.com!
For my first post, I want to take the time to describe my vision for the site. If you like my ideas, I hope you’ll choose to return and join in the conversation.

Miguel de Unamuno said, “La fe sin duda es nada mas que muerte” which basically means, “Faith without doubt is dead.” I sincerely believe this to be true. Faith which does not question is stagnant, it does not grow. We must always be asking questions and seeking answers to stretch ourselves.

I am at a point in my life where I desire deeply to grow. I want this site to help people with that same desire. I don’t have all the answers, you don’t have all the answers, so why don’t we try and find some together?

Here is a sampling of the topics I’m interested in exploring-
Science and religion (Christianity in particular)
Hate towards religion and faith
Hate because of religion and faith
Scripture reflections
Medicine, Suffering and Christianity
Issues in Christianity
Poverty
Education
Church: what should it look like?
Aid and development
Charity
Politics
Books (quotes)
Relationships
Universalism
Theology

Those are just some ideas. I have many more.
So that’s it, I hope you decide to engage in the conversation. I hope to blog about once a day. Please leave comments on posts, and feel free to send me an email at krager21@spu.edu

Also, I don’t want this to be serious all the time, I want to have some fun too. On that note, I leave you with a quote from the great Michael Scott-
“People I respect… heroes of mine would be, Bob Hope. Umm, Abraham Lincoln definitely. Bono… and probably God would be the fourth one. And I just think, all those people helped, the world in so many ways that it’s umm really beyond words. It’s incalcucable.”

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