Does Marriage Complete You?

I attended a wedding last weekend, so naturally my mind contemplated the issue of marriage. I’m 22, graduating from a Christian college, and single, so yeah, it has been on my mind a little anyway. The wedding was enjoyable, but a couple of things the pastor said during the ceremony made me uncomfortable. He focused on the Genesis story, and how God saw that it was “not good” for Adam to be alone. I can’t remember if he said it outright, but the overall impression I was getting was that humans are incomplete without a spouse. I know he was trying to express how special and important marriage is, so it’s probably more of an issue with my interpretation of his words. Either way, it unsettled me a bit.

My independent spirit fought against this idea of being incomplete without a wife. Part of it is my own arrogance which makes me think that I don’t “need” anyone. Another side of me (probably the better side) was uncomfortable because I know that I can only find completeness in Christ. I think that is a dangerous slope that could lead someone towards viewing their significant other as their savior, the person who makes them whole.

I put this question of completeness to a mentor of mine, who is married. He used both/and language to describe his thoughts. He said, yes he feels like he is a “better” person because of his wife. Yet he was also uncomfortable with the idea that marriage completes someone, especially with many Christians who emphasize marriage so much. It kills him that in many churches, single parents and single people can feel left out because they are not married.

I will probably be married someday. But right now, I feel complete. Maybe the language of completeness comes from the idea that when two complete people come together they become one fully complete whole. So it’s not that marriage is what “completes” someone, but rather what allows two complete people to be completely “one”.

What are your thoughts?

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